We're facebook friends in real life
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
