69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
what the fuck happened to the tacos
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
