I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
