is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
