Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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