dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize