I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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