i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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