Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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