just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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