she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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