I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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