So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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