this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
