And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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