Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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