Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
