If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
