it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
