By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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