if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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