Little spoons don't ask big questions
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
