I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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