theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Green mimosas i think yes
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
