It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
