By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
