and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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