And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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