VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize