you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
