Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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