Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
