I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
