What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just blew my weed a kiss
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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