This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
