Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
