You made me cry and you don't even care
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
