No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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