party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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