HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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