I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
