Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
even my farts smell like vagina
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize