I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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