There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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