You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sarcasm needs its own font
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
