that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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