Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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