Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
