you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
