sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
