end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize