Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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