I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
