You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
