Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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(937): View more from Ohio

just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window

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(513): View more from Ohio

This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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(646): View more from New York

but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered

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(775): View more from Nevada

May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.

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(310): View more from California

He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm more than my video games and dildo collection

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