I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
