Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
