So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
