I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
