ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
