We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
