it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
