I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
