when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
