Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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