Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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