The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
