That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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