Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
