roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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