Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
