Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
