you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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