Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
